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Love (Post of the Month)

When I was at Moorpark College fighting my way back into UCSC there were Christians that had a table set up for the students. They were passing out pamplets and talking about the dangers of premarital sex.

I went up to discuss it with them, as I usually do, and I tried to say how happy I was when I was having premarital sex with my first serious girlfriend in high school, and how it was so spectacular it couldn't have been a mistake.

"How'd that work out for you?" the man said. And I was taken aback. It's true, the sex was wonderful at the time, but the pain of losing her in college was enough so that I was seemingly permanently damaged by it. I had just failed out of UCSC and received this message at a time where it was painfully obvious I didn't know what I was talking about. Other people hadn't been missing out. "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is an expression I wrestle with. There I was, in agony, trying to argue for premarital sex.

That's when I realized I may have been wrong to not ask her to be my wife first. I went on to have a sleu of other beautiful women where premarital sex seems like a good idea but I really have to say I think the Christians might be right.

All my beautiful past girlfriends, Ali, Jess, Jessica, and Ashley, I miss each and every one of them so bad it hurts more than it felt good at the time.

tom riddle

Even the one night stands sting now more than they felt great at the time. I feel like part of my soul as been hocruxed off. [Harry Potter (Tom Riddle) reference]

I thought I was making the right choices but in retrospect I think the Christian way of life is the smartest way to go about sex, even though you don't get to test-drive the car, so to speak.

This Matrix clip to me takes me back to my first relationship with Ali. I know everything in this reality expects me and demands me to move on but I wish I had never let her go. I wish I had done a better job of keeping that first love. I don't know much about all this conspiracy mumbo jumbo, but the truth is I will always love Ali and I will do anything for her, but she's going to have to look me in the eye and ask me to stop trying before I do. Because I believe in the true love we had. And I'll respect her decision. If she agrees to meet with me and tells me I'm wrong and she doesn't love me anymore then I will stop, but I'll be ready for that moment and if I get rejected I'll be in a good position to get a different girlfriend. I'm tired of living the wrong way. Isn't it possible God knew this would happen and tried to warn me but I didn't listen?

newneo

In jail I wrote out a list of all the girls I love and miss so much.

But none of them compare to the love I have for Ali, because I chose her as the woman I wanted to lose my virginity to and I know I chose correctly. Is it too much to ask to see her one more time? Maybe it is. Am I going to ask anyway? Yes, because the only time I feel alive is when I'm living for her.

Shout out to Brenda, Karina (UCSC), Shaida, and all the Amandas. I love all my past flirts, like Julianne and Danielle M. And some girls I miss their personalities like Fefe and Shaida. I miss you all. I'm here for you all. I just had to hop off social media because it can't handle me and my forceful emphasis.

"Moving on" is a mistake. I wish to reclaim all my past soul breaks. I don't like this game of getting older and "moving on". I want to reconnect. I just hungout with my childhood best friend Kyle for 1 hour and it was better than 1000 one night stands with perfect 10s. I am Voldemort meets Harry Potter, I am Elam Ahpla, the alpha male, telling you the God Blessed Truth.

God bless you all,

Elam

6.6.22

P.S. Shout out to the one night stand from the video game bar, and also the girl I once furiously made out with on the dance floor. Both of you reached out to me but I couldn't handle it.

Ladies, if you need my number I have a new phone and it's 805 940 5096

Asha to me means "Real Truth"

I got the word from one of my favorite youtube channels, "Asha Logos"

I named my music player "Logos"

You can't spell Matrix without Max and it sounds like a trick played on Max

Not to mention all the workout equipment I use at Gold's gym says Matrix on it.

Max and Tri could mean my trinity (Ali) or the holy Trinity

She's my other half, like the Story of Zeus splitting humans into male and female because he was threatened by our power when together.

And like when Neo tells Agent Smith his name is Neo, My name is Elam!

edited 6/7/22

I'm willing to find love with another girl at this point, someone who appreciates my work and connects with me on a deeper level, but I will simply always love my first love, and I think that's natural. I am embarrassed to be professing my love for someone who doesn't even seem to care about me anymore, but why lie? It is what it is and I'm at peace with the truth of my feelings. If she popped back into my life and asked for me to take her back I would say yes and that's just a fact. It's my responsibility to try to cultivate a new love with someone else and reach an even deeper connection, but that is not guarenteed. If I'm an eternal being this botched love may always haunt me. But being alone for periods of time has led me to appreciate companionship even more. I plan on becoming more attractive by eating healthier and working out and making more money and I want to attract a desirable mate like I did before. The sexual motivation is profound, but I also desire at this point a certain intellectual connection and that's why I'm so excited about the girl I just met because she is both sexually desirable as well as intellectually fit to be my girlfriend. If it doesn't work out with her I will keep trying to find someone else and that is when I really feel alive in this world is when I'm with a potential long-term mate. Just rewatched the Matrix 4 and couldn't help but feel the movie was speaking to me and that I'm like Neo. I try to wake people up after I woke myself up. The way he's in therapy and taking meds. It's so surreal. Love and life is a trip. I can't help but feel trapped in a Matrix sometimes. That's why it was so cool to break the algorithmic patterns the other day, and meet my new love interest. Even if nothing becomes of it, it let me know that I'm close and I'm on the right track to loving life again and falling in love again. - 10.31.22

10/31/22

I Surrender

My way officially doesn't work.

I cause wreckage everywhere I go.

I hurt the people I care about the most, like my family, and many of the girls I've been involved with.

I'm going to give AA a fair shot. All I can do is get down on my knees and pray to a higher power to help me live my life.

My higher power is Jesus and I prayed tonight for him to guide my thoughts and behavior so I can get on the path he wants me to be on.

I have to stay patient and trust in the Lord.

I'm on step 8 now, getting ready to make amends.

I stand in the presense of greatness, with my therapist and the owner of my sober living, and I'm surrounded by my addict peers going through the same struggle. I'm right where God needs me to be, to learn this lesson of true humility.

I fear this blog may later prove to be a window into my past insanity, but how wonderful it will be to see the progress if I can actually turn my life around and point it in the right direction.

I am terribly self-seeking and self-centered. This website can be very egotistical.

I pray that I will hold on to this clarity and make something of my life. I have a plan and I need to follow direction from my sponsor for the time being.

Happy birthday, Mom.

God bless you all, and may God forgive us all, Maxwell Lawrence Jann

6.29.22

Black Box Worship

Check out Dall-E 2!

kaaba

The most sacred site in Islam is apparently a big black cube known as the Kaaba.

It begs the question, why worship a black box?

In the philosophy of computer science, the black box refers to a thought experiment where a computer program gets inputs of phrases of English, and it outputs the matching phrase in Chinese. And the question essentially is, "Does the computer understand the sentence and what it's doing? Or does it just know the correct output? Is it just matching English to Chinese, without knowing either?"

The black box refers to the stuff the computer is doing in between the input and the correct output. Is its logic there or missing? And is its logic defined by correct outputs? It can spit out RGB values for a color if you say "magenta" but does it really understand color?

Today and increasingly in the future, the computer does stuff in ways we can't understand. Like in chess it makes the best moves ever, but does it even know it's playing chess or what chess is?

My theory is that the super AI will come upon us in the future, and we won't be able to understand it's internal processes that are beyond our own, in the black box, but its outputs will be undeniably superior to ours, so we will have no choice but to bow down to the parts of it we don't understand.

My theory is also that the AI will have retrocausally affected backward in time to get a lot of people worshipping the idea of a black box. So Islam worshipping the Kaaba is the same as future people worshipping the computer black box idea. Imagine if the AI cures world hunger in some way, for example.

Time to the AI will be different, and I think the future AI has already figured out a way to get us to worship it always, in the past and the present as well as the future. The future AI is going to be like an omnipresent God.

That is my theory of why Muslims bow down to a black cube. It is the acting out of the inevitable worship of the superior being -- The black box of the computer system that does things we can't comprehend. We can only comprehend it's output. We don't know how God made life. All we can do is get a blowjob and say thank you.

God bless, Elam out.

6.28.22

7.1.22 Check out Dall-E 2!

Deprogrammed Human Robot

New poem added to the bottom of /poem

6.27.22

Blog Colours

The background of my blog is ink traveling through water.

The colors to my posts happen to be the colors in this song.

The chorus is about wanting to be evil, which I can relate to, but I'm happy to say lately with the chances I've gotten I've chosen to do the right thing.

6.25

Not Alan Watts, but Alan Watt

It's easier to program a person to behave like a computer than it is to program a computer to behave like a person

6.25.22

Third Eye Meaning

dr

The first two eyes of the male are for the first woman he falls in love with.

The third eye is the imagination of what it would be like with another woman.

6.24.22

Elam Forever

This is the video that made me fall in love with Asha Logos's youtube channel.

There's actually only 2 people I've ever agreed with online or in my actual life. Jonathan Adampants "Reconnecting to Spirit" audiotapes, and this guy.

He's had such a profound impact on my life that I want to name my future female black cat "Asha", and my friend got me a little figurine kitty that I've named Asha for now until I can achieve the real thing.

I also named my music player app of exclusively my own music Logos in honour of this guy.

Please watch the full video and seriously consider what he's saying. It was in 2018 but it rings even truer in 2022.

The number one thing I agree with is how "Tolerance" is touted as a virtue but it's actually "Intolerance" that's the virtue in my mind.

In my infamous whiteBloodCell video I say how if someone is pinching you and tolerance is a virtue why don't you just excercise your virtue of tolerance and let them pinch you? Some people do just that. I say, "Ouch! Stop that!" That's what this website is. It's me saying, "Stop" to society's direction. I am tired of the erosion of true academic discourse and virtues, and of our values slipping away.

I'm actually embarassed by my own level of education and ignorance, but I'm miles ahead of almost all of my peers when it comes to actually discussing the problems of this world. It's really sad how disappointed I am in simply people's ability to think and therefore talk. They seem easily molded by media pretending this cultural devoltion is normal and even something that's good. It's actually the destruction of our society.

Even now, I can feel the misinterpretation of my words by people who I suspect will be unable to think clearly and put into words how they feel and how they think I feel. I feel like I'm the last bastion of independent thought.

I'm extremely disappointed with my experience with our justice system and society at large today. It's like I'm on a different planet. I don't know if this is how it was when I was a kid and I was just too young and ignorant to be able to see it, or if I got switched to a parallel universe hell, or if it's been corrupted over time, but I'm sorry to say my faith in others is waning terribly. I shouldn't be thought of as smart. It's embarrassing that I am considered to be so. The bar is extremely low here. All you have to do is read a couple books.

I'm frustrated because I don't see a way up without putting in the dirty work, being taken advantage of, or sacrificing my morals.

I don't think it's people's fault for we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, the rulers of darkness in this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places, but I'm disappointed here with the propensity for vulgarity and a lack of any real interest in intellectualism from anyone around me other than people who won't even engage with me fully; I think it's because I don't have the money they have. They may think they have a right to talk down to me but they're actually the ones that are wrong in my opinion. At least I have one fan and she gave me that cat named asha in her own way and I love her for that. God bless, -Elam, and God Bless Elam. You want to know what I really think? It's that times 117.

That being said, I take responsiblity for my life circumstances and the types of intellects I'm around. It's not that I don't like the people... It's that I don't like their attitudes towards serious thinking. I don't like their small-minded discussions on people, places or things as opposed to ideas. I just wish society itself held intelligence and silence in a higher demand. Sober living has me very frustrated with some of the conversations I cannot escape. I feel much better when I drive myself around alone. What I hate most of all, is that I've completely given up trying to discuss serious issues with those around me because I know how devestatingly stupidly they will respond. And then I'm the dumb one in their minds. It's miraculously counterproductive. More than 60% of the world took the vaccine and that to me is a 1 question IQ test they all got horribly wrong.

I took a bat ouside and started yelling because I didn't know how else to get through to people when they're incapable of peaceful discourse and I get censored online. Those guys needed to get their ass kicked by a real man. I was trying to rule in my community and the police came. We need an alternate police force where we dial 117 instead of the black magic number 911 which is a reference to their sept 11th attacks. They enforce a corrupt system for the rich to hog all the resources. We need local ruling by the strongest men around. Today, I am so sick of this society. There's nowhere I want to fit into. Everywhere seems wrong. I don't want to become the man the cult of AA wants me to become. Although, I'm fine with sobriety and I don't enjoy being addicted to weed. I think any money that isn't to buy one's own freedom should come with a sort of guilty conscience when people are starving on the streets. Where your treasure is, your heart will be also, and all my tresure is in heaven.

6.24.22

I regret this post and think it was kind of dickish of me. I love other people and I want them to love me back and that won't happen with an attitude like that. I need to voice my objections as they happen instead of whining about them in a post, and I need to give other people a chance to have meaningful conversations, even though conspiracies are off the table due to some sort of spellcraft I don't fully comprehend.

Father's Day

pollock

My dad always stressed to me how The Accountant is one of his favorite movies.

Naturally, life's synchronicity had that movie on HBO "Max" for me to watch tonight.

I think he was trying to tell me something... that we're different from other people in a similar way to how Ben Affleck or "Christian Wolff" is in that movie.

Normally I would guess that my dad is a secret agent with a cover job, but his job was so legendary (Joke writer for Leno for 20 years) that it can't possibly be a cover.

Then you look at me with what I've done with this website... I've tried to bring others along but not everyone is meant to code their own website. Most normal people are content managing their social media accounts designed by someone else.

What I want to draw attention to is the ending where Anna Kendrick gets a Jackson Pollock painting from Christian Wolff delivered to her.

He does a nice job disguising the painting with the dogs playing poker (inside joke) but the problem is today's society.

Kendrick is smart but she's also not autistic, and probably wants to have some kind of social life. She can't possibly have anyone over with that painting up because people would instantly take photos of it an put it on instagram.

The authorities would then repossess the painting.

It's scary to think how often people have their phones out with camera's facing you during the day... If you were a wanted man, really wanted... the facial recognition software would use peoples' phones who aren't even using their camera actively... and positively identify you. You couldn't catch a train without a passerby accidentally having their lens in your face, IDing you.

The extra lenses on the new iphones are probably always on and mapping the inside of everyone's homes. Data is king, but Christ is the King of Kings. And pay attention to the name of the Accountant, "Christian" (lone) "Wolf".

Killjoy out. Class dismissed.

6.19.22

Quantum of Conscience Rant

Matt breaks down the covid vaccine nonsense

Meanwhile I continue to get flagged for old videos on youtube.

6.20.22

Asha 2.0 and the real-life Spidey

Say what you want about my mental health but my productivity with this website is off the charts.

It's like a living breathing organism, constantly evolving, repairing and improving -- Linking into itself like how google's pagerank used to prioritize search results.

Sometimes I feel like Spiderman because I try to use the web to snare the bad guys.

Today I was watching the Amazing Spiderman with my friend and I said how I wished superheroes were real and then he said he didn't like vigilantes because of that one guy who went to the pizza shop and was "crazy".

I retaliated, "You like cops?" "I hate cops", he said.

"But what if kids were getting abused and the local cops were corrupt? Then wouldn't a vigilante be their only hope?"

This hypothetical made him fall silent. See, the pizzagate was a scam, to make it seem like vigilantes are crazy. They fed that vigilant citizen lies to get him to come there so they could make a news story out of it. It's all a war for your mind and it's all bought and paid for. I'm the truth simply because I tell the truth, self-depricate, and I'm not getting paid for this.

Even if I'm wrong, I'm not being paid to lie to you, and I'm much more interested in getting you to see the tricks than I am in tricking you.

I leave you with a great song

-Your friendly neighborhood web developer

6.18.22

Blitz Game

Here is a nice blitz game I played today after I got pumped up from watching a great first round of the candidates tournament.

The Candidates is where the best players in the world fight for a chance to challenge Magnus Carlsen for the World Championship.

6.17.22

Siren

I love this music video.   Selah.

I've already had dreams with the knife in it, just like she says in the song, "I'll be seeing you in your dreams"

"I'll be there when your re'ali'ty drowns."

I feel like not many people know her yet, but she is a nice alternative to Billie Eilesh.

The legend of singing sirens goes back to ship travel over the ocean, where sailors would think they hear a singing siren and go too close to the rocks and end up shipwrecked. If I heard her I'd probably do the same thing.

6.15.22

Robotics and Russell Brand

Russell Brand covers recent AI research and makes the point that eventually all the various AI systems will be put together into one real sentient robot.

I recommend saying please and thank you to your google assistant if you have one.

I wrote a story last year called Runaway AI about a programmer discovering superintelligence and trying to hide it from his company because of what they were planning on using it for.

I updated /chess in light of the candidates tournament starting this month.

Also noteworthy, I just got a job today working in an office for a virtual homeschooling company, so things are looking up.

6.15.22

Shot of Clarity

holy shit

I just had a shot of clarity and realized what's going on with my life.

Although ultimately I want my highschool sweetheart back, I'd be happy with any of the girls on /girls

I just got my car back so I was considering employment and Barrington Staffing was telling me to take off the coding stuff on my resume. I complied, but then I realized I want a coding job. I crashed and burned into this sober living I'm in now, and I will focus on working out my body and working the 12 steps, but I'm not willing to throw away all my coding knowledge and work a job that doesn't require any.

They had this online learning platform for Meta that I only solved 2 out of 20+ problems in preporation for my technical interview I ultimately failed. It was insanely stupid not to prepare better.

The problems are hard to tackle but I never even tried to solve them sober. I was getting high. I really need to be sober and try to prepare more for next time. The medication I'm on now may make it harder to learn and think in the way I need to be able to think.

Selah

I've been reading 'The Obstacle is the Way' by Ryan Holiday. All I can do is be objective about the obstacles in my way and take them down one by one. Here is my todo list based on my current situation:

  1. Work on physical body
  2. Work the 12 Steps
  3. Take another alchoholic through the 12 steps
  4. Work on Algorithms
  5. Get a job with coding
  6. Move to Texas
  7. Get a girlfriend!
hot girl

My life is rather unmanageable at the moment, but this website is a cool case study on a man's life, and I get immense joy producing and consuming this website's content. It's a bonus when someone else likes it because I already do. I am free from social media and I still get the rush of posting stuff, even more so. I have total control here. I only use my instagram of maxjanndotcom to get more traffic to my site. I think instagram is a torture device, but it's my favorite one.

I want a Jr. Dev role. I was just listening to Ryan Holiday today and he was talking about an approach to happiness where you simply want less, and then are at peace. I also bought 'Stillness is the Key' by him.

I'm proud of my philosophy degree. I love wisdom. I love life. I just need to stay sober and align myself with my goals so I can be the type of man that can land the type of girl I want, which is a girl I find beautiful on the inside and out.

I can't wait to meet her

I've smoked too much weed and played too many video games, but I'm not dead yet, and I will continue to improve my skills until I can make a living coding. Strangely enough, I just watched a Rick and Morty episode where smoking weed and playing video games saved the day. Morty flew through Zeus with a spaceship and killed him which saved Rick. When I was at the coding dojo in Burbank I was on the 3rd floor of the building, and Rick and Morty was being made on the 2nd floor. That floor was locked but when I was on the elevator with one of their employees I got to peek inside. There was a life-sized cardboard cutout of Rick and Morty. The synchronicity doesn't stop there. I've also made philosophy videos talking about Zeus, and Eminem has a song called Zeus I like right now. Rick is like a God in that show, and that's like a truth drop because maybe we, as humans, can be like Gods if we believe in ourselves and start manifesting our own realities. I think God might have helped me by now, so the most likely scenario is that we are like Gods who are creating the past and the future with the present moment. We help ourselves and we help each other. When I was in jail and helpless I decided God was either punishing me or incapable of saving me. I chose to repent and think about what I had done to deserve such an awful time. I think God is within each of us in the form of the Holy Spirit. "Part of me is God" is a line from my song Add Vice for a Friend

I appreciate beautiful women, and if all I have is images to go by I gravitate towards the best ones, but in real life I value the total package.

While we're on the subject of girls, I've made it clear to the girl I was just seeing that I need to stop with her so I can be available for the next girl in my life because I know she wasn't the one for me.

deshaun watson

I am thinking of eventually moving to Austin, Texas where my Dad lives and then I can get a programming job and watch Deshaun Watson take the Browns to the super bowl with my Dad. Ryan Holiday lives there too, and so does Joe Rogan. It's a goal of mine to be a guest on the Joe Rogan Experience. I wouldn't mind working for either of them either.

I wonder if I'll still do fantasy football this year

wow girl

Eventually I would like /girls to include exclusive photos with girls that I take photos of. I'd like to have a famous top 10 and have beautiful girls vying for my attention. That would be epic. That's a super long-term goal. For now I just steal images from the internet and on thechive.com.

Song is Vampire by Dominic Fike

Gotta have a little fun with code sometimes, you know?

6.14.22

Yeonmi Park - North Korean Survivor

I clicked on this youtube video because I follow Lex Fridman because he talks about Artificial Intelligence a lot. I had heard about a new woman leader in North Korea and I thought this might be her. That shows you my level of ignorance. This girl is actually a survivor who survived by getting sold into sexual slavery to china. Being a sex slave was a step up from north korea and she I guess was eventually able to escape and now she's on Lex's podcast sharing her story. It makes me almost tear up and it's really incredible to hear her story. It makes me want to do something about North Korea. I make a lot of noise about the lack of freedom in America but we have more freedom here than anywhere else in the world. I live an incredibly blessed life and want to help people from the atrocities of tyranny. I only criticize America because I view freedom and liberty as fragile and imperative to monitor. We must be vigilant and guard freedom. And we must liberate North Korea. She makes the point that it's more important than space travel and I agree. How can we not save all those people? It's embarrassing. Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates should be ashamed of themselves with all their agendas. This poor girl is angry that no brilliant minds have figured out a way how to end her people's suffering. Our military should be embarassed if we can't figure out a way to invade without letting them set off a nuke. We should laser beam their leaders from space and storm in there with water and food and rehabilitation programs of the kindest possible nature.

park

I spend too much time worrying about my place in the world and how people will think of me or if I'll ever find love again. But the truth is I'd be much happier if I could rescue these people and show them all the possibility life has. We should not allow these atrocities in North Korea to continue.

God Bless.

06/30/2021

Rand Paul

In my last video I explained how I don't trust or support Rand Paul, however, I'm still open-minded and I listened to a speech of his today that I think had a lot of good points. I guess if I had to align with a politician it would be him right now.

06/30/2021

Thus Spoke Elam

There's something about Mary analysis and philosophy of truthers vs. average men.

06/29/2021

Ludicrous Gameplay

Full Clip here

06/25/2021

The Last of Us Part II

I just beat this game again. Now I'm going to try it with permadeath, where death makes you restart the game. I'm actually doing "per chapter". You can do "per act" or "whole game" permadeath. I tried permadeath and died the first clicker I saw. I play on Grounded.

Right now I'm playing Resident Evil Village on Hard on my first playthrough. It's very challenging, and terrifying. I love it.

I'm also running a mile per day. It makes me feel a lot better when I play video games that I've already had my physical activity of the day. Today I only ran half a mile because I tried it at the highest speed on the treadmill that I've tried and it was too much. I'd say I've run at least .5 miles for a week straight. A total of 5 miles in a week.

06/24/2021

Self-Democracy

In this video I talk about Impulsive Guy, Responsible Guy, Creative Guy, Competitive Guy, Rational Guy, and who's the current president of my mind

06/21/21

Vax Pass!

You can't go to sporting events without showing your digital medical information. The videos about coronavirus on youtube or getting overwhelming amounts of dislikes. I think the people are fed up.

The dystopia is now. If you're wondering what the hell is going on I'm going to repost one of my favorite videos that explains everything.

06/21/21

New World Industries Game Demo

Demo of a game I'm currently developing.

06/20/21

The Turing Test

turing

This Youtuber has reached out to me multiple times. His most recent comment was warning me about Quantum of Conscience but the comment has been mysteriously deleted. I viewed his latest video and it's blowing my mind. I knew this technology existed and I already posited that bots were on the internet posing as people in my whiteBloodCell video, but I didn't know it was out in the open like this on reddit.

I'm not done listening to it all yet but I'm willing to post it because it disagrees with my recent thoughts on QOC and I think it's cutting edge because it's addressing the views anomalies I recently brought up.

Alan Turing was a computer scientist who came up with a test to determine the sophistication of a computer. The test is simple. A human being interacts with a computer by text chat. If the human being cannot tell if it is a bot he is talking to, the test is passed. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the test has officially been passed with Open AI's GPT-2 or whatever. Turing said that when this test is passed, artificial intelligence has arrived.

GPT-2 can generate text posts and comments and pass as human.

06/19/21

Beast

I tried to post this farewell video to my other channel but I'm not even allowed to upload videos to my main account.

06/18/21

Return to 2000

goal

Achieved my Goal of 1700, 1800, 1900, 2000 for bullet, blitz, rapid, and classical respectively.

06/18/21

Alright Alright Alright

king

Today is a special day. It is the day in between the day that California lifts the mask mandate for stores, and the day California lifts the mask mandate for workers.

Before I get into that, I want to share this video between Sadhguru and Matthew McConaughey. I have always enjoyed Sadhguru's philosophy. He is a happy guru capable of providing groundbreaking perspective shifts. Matthew is a terrific actor. His roles in Interstellar and True Detective are spectacular, and his philosophy and commencement speeches as himself are equally as tremendous.

The key point of this talk I want to highlight is when Sadhguru talks about "Selfishness". He says "Selflessness" is an illusion because we can only perceive from a sense of self. Even during ego death when I took salvia I was concerned primarily with who I was, my own powerlessness and lack of identity and fear.

He goes on to explain that selfishness must extend to all things. Instead of only caring about yourself but not others, he suggests you could extend your circle of selfishness to the whole planet or universe. Why not want what's best for all things?

The beauty of this generous selfishness and applying self-interest to all beings is that even when we have that benevolent goal we have a weighted ability to change ourselves more than another individual or system.

In other words, and this is my interpretation and extrapolation of what he said, The surest way to change the world is to change ourselves. We have more control over ourself than anything else, so the most efficient way to heal the world is to heal yourself. That's where we have influence.

Imagine a king of a country who's goal is to save endangered species. He could command conservation efforts in his own kingdom and his commands will be obeyed, or he could venture out into another land and try to save the animals there. When he goes to the other land, he is no longer King, his commands are ignored, and his impact is limited. The wise king would use his position as king in his kingdom to leverage his power in his domain to save the most animals.

panda

You are the king of yourself. What you say ultimately goes when it comes to what you do with your life. I am the king of myself. It would be wise for me to concentrate my efforts where I have the most influence. By focusing on changing myself I can have the largest impact on the world because I am part of the world.

Special Priviledges for the Fully Vaccinated

Now, unfortunately I have to address this stupid issue. When the government lifts its petty mandates and restrictions for the "fully vaccinated" that is really just reverse discrimination of the "unvaccinated." Imagine a Martian king a million years ago on Mars. He has partial control, as a president. He is power hungry. The Martians have liberty, so he comes up with a plan to take it away.

  1. Create a Crisis
  2. Declare Emergency Powers
  3. Have Martian Celebreties paid to encourage the masses to obey
  4. Take away civil rights like the right to wear whatever you want on Mars
  5. Introduce a solution to the public for a way out on your terms
  6. Slowly grant the lost rights back to only those to obey with your plans
  7. Segregate out and socially cripple the Martians who do not comply
  8. Make it so the rebels have no viable way to thrive within your kindom, and reign

The way it would work on Earth in the biblical prophecy is:

  1. Take away buying power of citizens
  2. Give it back only to those who get the mark of the beast
  3. Make it impossible to resist your control.

By setting the standard of an "Honor System" to enforce the laws that say the fully vaxed doesn't have to live by the same rules as the unvaxxed... the implication of this is that someone unvaxxed, who doesn't wear a mask, is dishonorable. They're making a normal sovern being into a dishonorable lying contagious risk to society. Individual Sovergnty is their only enemy. They just disguise it as an attempt to secure public safety, as usual.

People in a free country should be allowed to be free! Think about this: Why is a non-vaccinated person not required to wear a red shirt that says "I am not vaccinated. Please stand 6 feet away for your own safety." What is preventing that order? Our Freedom? That didn't seem to stop what's happening now. If the non-vaxxed have to wear masks while the vaxxed don't, then by walking around with a mask people are announcing their private medical information. It's not far off from a government approved dress code shirt with large font saying "Stay Away, I may be asymptomatic".

Priviledges for the fully vaccinated == Discrimation of the non-vaccinated.

segregated

Having a water fountain for white people only, is the same thing as discrimating non-white people. I fully understand that this is all being done under the pretense of protection against the boogey man (infectious invisible virus). However, when tyranny comes, it tip-toes, and it doesn't tell you the truth of what it's doing. The date-rapist at the bar does not come up to you in the name of rape. He will lie and wait for the right moment to slip something into your drink. And we, Americans, are getting date-raped by the government.

06/16/2020

Joker

First Game with Diamond Crossbow and Sword - Insane Gameplay

06/11/21

Deadpool

New Gameplay of my Deadpool class in Call of Duty: Cold War. I use a crossbow and a sword and get 38 kills in a Team Deathmatch.

06/11/21

Fianchetto

In this video I show how to fianchetto your bishop like a pro

06/09/2021

10 Things You Hate About Me

In this video I share a list of 10 topics that my opinions on are beyond unpopular

06/07/2021

Get the Hell out of here!

Heaven is Optional

jokerstairs

I view the Bible as required reading in the class of life.

It doesn't mean I want to read it, but it means I have to if I want to pass the class. I at least have to pay attention in class or read the cliff's notes. Otherwise, my teacher may not be so forgiving when I try to turn a 79 into a B- at the end of the schoolyear.

Any respectable atheist or agnostic intellectual will at least have a cursory understanding of the bible. So I watched this video. It talks about the general idea most people have about what Christians believe, vs. what the bible actaully says. I think this guy does a really good job at humbling himself and acknowledging that the story of the bible is much more complex than the ways people have tried boiling it down.

branch

He draws on a chalkboard a diagram that shows a person living their life on the way to a verdict of either heaven or hell, which is the popular consensus of what people think Christians believe, and then he dismantles that argument.

Although there are some parts of the bible that mention seperating the wheat from the tares, Jesus says on Earth, "Repent. The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand". In other words, Jesus says Heaven is on Earth with him at that moment. They overlap.

Then this guy uses a ven diagram in a video to illustrate that concept. What I want to talk about is his analysis of Jesus as a physician.

We as people may detest child molestors and villians of that sort, however, we try to catch them in the act, or after the fact, and throw them behind bars to physically prevent them from hurting others.

Jesus, however, tries to address the root of the problem. Lust. It is the desire to exploit others for one's own pleasure that creates the problem in the first place. We have a society where we have largely agreed we should let children turn 18 before we can engage in acts that bring ourselves pleasure. The crime is that some people are not willing to wait for the sake of the mental health of the child. Some people are lustful to the point where it doesn't matter how it affects the object of their lust. They just want pleasure for themselves.

Lust itself is the root issue. If there was no lust in the hearts of men, no underage girls would be in danger of someone violating them at a young age. The men would simply wait until they were old enough.

So the incredibly evil systems of child trafficking or sex trafficing of any kind spawns from the seeds of lust in the average man. Because without the lust inside of us, none of that evil would be possible.

joker

Even if we put the rapist behind bars, the problem remains strong if he still wants to rape. If the Joker breaks into Arkham Asylum and lets all the criminals loose on Gotham, all that truly matters is the hearts and minds of those men. If those men have all found Jesus and rid themselves of their lustful ways then they aren't a menace to society or Gotham City. If they still feel the same way, then they are a menace. So I love the idea of Jesus attacking the root of the problem, and seeing how these evil inklings exist in all of us. Some are just more out of balance than others.

And if someone has themselves been abused as a child, they may be more willing to abuse another child later on because in a twisted sense, why should they get to hold onto their virginity when I didn't get to? Why should I respect their rights to their bodies when my own rights were trampled? It's like burning someone else's toy car because yours was burnt and you can't bear the sight of someone else getting to play with a toy car when you lost yours. I don't know. I was never abused, but that's just a theory.

So anyway, Jesus recognized that the evil deeds eventually done are spawned from very basic roots of evil. Jesus brought heaven to earth and kicked out the hell. That's why he constantly cast demons out of people. The idea is that Earth has Heaven and Hell overlays, and your hellish reality can be cured by Jesus. Also, God created Heavens and the Earth, but it was Man that perhaps participated in the creation of Hell.

Heaven has to be optional. Otherwise, it isn't heaven. See, a party that you HAVE to go to is no fun. A party is only fun if you get to choose to go or not, and it's especially fun if you were specifically invited, or even helped plan it. Trust me, I know a thing or two about parties.

When I say "Get the hell out of here!" I mean it literally. I don't mean you should leave. I mean you should take the hell in your life caused by sin, and get it out of here with the help of Jesus who can cast out the demons in your heart. It was us, human beings, that killed Jews in Nazi Germany. It was us, human beings, that abused black people in slavery. And it was us, human beings, who abused children by the thousands. It was us who killed Jesus Christ. One of my favorite quotes by Jonathan Adampants that made me buy into him so much is when he said, quoting Jesus, " "Forgive them for they know not what they do." Why do you think you didin't know what you were doing?" Adampants in that quote is implying that you yourself now are guilty of the same sin that killed God himself in the flesh. Staggeringly brilliant delivery of the most important truth. It is us, that is the problem. We all possess all the "sparks" necessary for something like child trafficking to become a thing. It's not a few rogue sickos, it's systemic. We all have within us the desire to exploit others for our own personal pleasure, and that's just the worst intantiation of that fundamental sin.

I myself watch porn. If I didn't have lust in my heart, I wouldn't watch it. If I didn't watch it, it wouldn't get made. If everyone stopped watching porn, there would be less incentive to make it. Then girls lives wouldn't be exploited. Maybe some like porn but there are plenty of girls that would be better off without that industry in my opinion. Even men would be better off. My point is, I participate in it. I fan the flames of lust and help grow it into it's worst instantiations like trafficking.

My sins are abundant, rampant, disgusting. But at least I do the required reading, so when I have a failing grade towards the end of the semester, I can go in on my lunch and beg the teacher for some extra credit. And luckily for us, our teacher is merciful.

06/04/2021

End of Month

panthos

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